Everything I needed to know about being Chair I learned from Star Trek

Some of the earliest memories I have, other than the fashion abuse by my parents, were of Star Trek. Even at an early age, it was everything I thought the future held. I wanted to be beamed up. I wanted to whiz around the stars in my pajamas. I wanted to see alien civilizations where the women were always dressed in silk and aluminum foil. And as with any formative experiences, the lessons of Star Trek stayed with me. But lately I’ve realized how much of the wisdom of Trek prepared me for being Chair. Here’s a few examples.

Non-interference is the Prime Directive. On the show this was frequently ignored or rationalized away, but the sentiment is important. This was valuable in mentoring. I give trainees, faculty, and staff guidance, but I let them make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from those mistakes. It’s a good approach for not micromanaging and trying to fix something that is already working. And that’s advice that folks in the Dean’s office could take because, as I’ve said on many occasions, the scariest and most upsetting phrase in the English language is “I'm from the Dean’s office and I’m here to help.”

Humans are highly emotional and highly illogical. So much of the job is dealing with people that have emotional attachments to their work and their environment (this is science, after all). There’s an old joke that the only thing faculty hate more than the way things are is change. But it’s still important to consider how you are tearing apart someone’s world as you make changes. You can’t make everyone happy, but you don’t have to make everyone unhappy.

Keep your phaser set on stun. Deal with everything at as low a setting as possible. Save the high settings for appropriate battles. Or at least things that you find truly objectionable. And reserve your complement of photon torpedoes.

Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. Spock said this to the lover of his bride of an arranged marriage not-to-be, but it’s a potent warning for being Chair. Several people (Chairs and former Chairs) gave me warnings like “Your science will suffer” and “you’ll need to do all your actual work at night and on weekends” but I naively thought I could be different. And yet here I am.

Boldly go where no one has gone before. Well first, for the afficionados, yes, I changed this from the 60s version to the 90s version. Not everything in the 60s was perfect. But the idea of eschewing tradition and trying new things is important to being Chair. Not everything works, but the successes will make a difference.

But beyond all of the catchphrases, the ethos of Star Trek is a guide to any leader. Always treat colleagues with respect. Learn and utilize the strengths of those you work with. Protect your ‘crew’ at all costs. Expect excellence and reward innovation. Build teamwork and loyalty and rely on your crew in all missions. All lessons that some ‘leaders’ could learn.

Doing my best imitation of Kirk in the “The Deadly Years” telling the aliens to get off my space lawn. Photo taken at a Star Trek retrospective at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. I was not accompanied by any children.

And perhaps most importantly, Starfleet Command does not know what they are doing. The priorities of Starfleet Command are not the ship’s priorities. To Starfleet Command, ships and especially captains, are expendable. They either have no idea how a starship runs or have been away from one so long they have forgotten what it’s like. As in many episodes, it seems that Starfleet Command is operating to appease the bean counters or maybe they’ve been taken over by evil parasites.

Throughout the various Star Trek series there were great Captains, questionable Captains, stubborn and unqualified Commodores, Admirals with insight, and Admirals with a hidden agenda. Maybe, as I sit here in my pajamas, I am in Starfleet after all. Though I’m still waiting to be beamed up.